Raise Your Glasses to Our Artists
Most artists are familiar with the sleepless nights, clenched stomach and need for easy access to a bathroom when presenting their work for the first time. What is it that is so terrifying, whether we are visual artists, dancers, musicians, actors, writers or a myriad of other forms of self-expression? Well, that’s it - self-expression. Pretty darned terrifying, expressing yourself in public. “This is a part of me,” you say, “Okay world, go ahead and judge it.”
We’re all guilty of judging our artists. “I hate Brad Pitt”, you say blithely, sagely, superiorly. And whether we love him or hate him, the man is, in the end, just an artist who puts himself out there for your judgment. The audience, the public, all of us, have the right to the give our opinion of artists, once they have bared their souls. And so we artists can live in terror. Will they like me? Nothing was as honest, (if not as fun to make fun of), as Sally Field’s blurt, “I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!” when receiving her Academy Award. The reality is few of us win Academy Awards that publicly say ‘we like you’ but for some reason we keep putting a little of ourselves out for judgment, pasting that smile to our face as people ignore, praise, or slam our work. And if that wasn’t enough, the money sucks, you need the self-discipline of a Buddhist monk, most people who vote for Rob Ford and Harper (which apparently is the majority) look at you like you are society’s leeches and some artist’s families don’t mention them in their Christmas newsletters. So why would we do that to ourselves, you may ask?
When a student asks me if they really should become an artist. I say “God no. Unless you can’t not do it. If you think you can do anything else. Do it.” For whatever reason, true artists have a deep need to “say” something. Despite all reasoning they will pursue this dream of being an artist because they have to. No other career makes sense for them but making art. Whatever their medium, they have something humming deep inside them and they just need to get that humming out there. No matter how terrifying. The catch is, that in the art making, there is no room for fear, no eye on what the public might say. In fact it’s my experience that fear is the biggest creativity crusher around. There is just a hunger to express yourself. The fear comes later at the opening, the concert, the showing. Doubts creep in as the audience creeps in to witness your offering.
I have felt this fear as an actor - Vomit inducing opening nights. As a director who wears out the carpet in the lobby during the first act of the first night. And now I add to this lustrous list, as a writer. As vulnerable as I felt in the others, I feel twice so in this new enterprise. Yet I’m compelled to share this story. I lay my guts before you and say, “stomp if you so desire”.
We get used to the fear as veteran artists and it usually takes the form of excitement in sharing our work. But at the same time there is a vulnerability that I personally admire in all artists. So I want to take the opportunity to say to my fellow artists - thank you and a raised glass to you all for sharing yourselves so publicly. Your very personal contribution truly does make it a better world to live in.
If you would like to see a reading of my newest fear inducing project...
A Playreading of
Corpus Callosum by Anna MacKay-Smith
Starring Rosemary Dunsmore and Janet-Laine Green
Wednesday October 12th, 2011 - 7:30 pm
Pay What You Can
9 Davies Avenue, Suite 403
(Queen St. E and DVP)
Most artists are familiar with the sleepless nights, clenched stomach and need for easy access to a bathroom when presenting their work for the first time. What is it that is so terrifying, whether we are visual artists, dancers, musicians, actors, writers or a myriad of other forms of self-expression? Well, that’s it - self-expression. Pretty darned terrifying, expressing yourself in public. “This is a part of me,” you say, “Okay world, go ahead and judge it.”
We’re all guilty of judging our artists. “I hate Brad Pitt”, you say blithely, sagely, superiorly. And whether we love him or hate him, the man is, in the end, just an artist who puts himself out there for your judgment. The audience, the public, all of us, have the right to the give our opinion of artists, once they have bared their souls. And so we artists can live in terror. Will they like me? Nothing was as honest, (if not as fun to make fun of), as Sally Field’s blurt, “I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!” when receiving her Academy Award. The reality is few of us win Academy Awards that publicly say ‘we like you’ but for some reason we keep putting a little of ourselves out for judgment, pasting that smile to our face as people ignore, praise, or slam our work. And if that wasn’t enough, the money sucks, you need the self-discipline of a Buddhist monk, most people who vote for Rob Ford and Harper (which apparently is the majority) look at you like you are society’s leeches and some artist’s families don’t mention them in their Christmas newsletters. So why would we do that to ourselves, you may ask?
When a student asks me if they really should become an artist. I say “God no. Unless you can’t not do it. If you think you can do anything else. Do it.” For whatever reason, true artists have a deep need to “say” something. Despite all reasoning they will pursue this dream of being an artist because they have to. No other career makes sense for them but making art. Whatever their medium, they have something humming deep inside them and they just need to get that humming out there. No matter how terrifying. The catch is, that in the art making, there is no room for fear, no eye on what the public might say. In fact it’s my experience that fear is the biggest creativity crusher around. There is just a hunger to express yourself. The fear comes later at the opening, the concert, the showing. Doubts creep in as the audience creeps in to witness your offering.
I have felt this fear as an actor - Vomit inducing opening nights. As a director who wears out the carpet in the lobby during the first act of the first night. And now I add to this lustrous list, as a writer. As vulnerable as I felt in the others, I feel twice so in this new enterprise. Yet I’m compelled to share this story. I lay my guts before you and say, “stomp if you so desire”.
We get used to the fear as veteran artists and it usually takes the form of excitement in sharing our work. But at the same time there is a vulnerability that I personally admire in all artists. So I want to take the opportunity to say to my fellow artists - thank you and a raised glass to you all for sharing yourselves so publicly. Your very personal contribution truly does make it a better world to live in.
If you would like to see a reading of my newest fear inducing project...
A Playreading of
Corpus Callosum by Anna MacKay-Smith
Starring Rosemary Dunsmore and Janet-Laine Green
Wednesday October 12th, 2011 - 7:30 pm
Pay What You Can
9 Davies Avenue, Suite 403
(Queen St. E and DVP)